I would like to do what I did not publicly do when we moved to Pennsylvania; introduce my family and explain what we are about. I always thought it was a bit ‘offish’ and un-neighborly that no one ever welcomed us or asked about us (to our faces). I have a very busy life and never had the time to explain my life to anyone, even when heard of rumors spreading about us. Just for the record, I would have been happy to talk to anyone who would have inquired. I have fought with whether I should defend my family against the slander in the media. I finally decided to write this letter, for the sake of my children.

My name is Rainbow Buckingham. I am a 33-Year-Old mother of three beautiful children, who I have primarily raised by myself. They are Katrina (Kat) : 16-year-old girl, Kyla: 14-year-old girl, & Djinn: 12-year-old boy. I was running two businesses out of my home. The first was my graphics business (Rainbow Vision GraFX), which could fill any graphics request (logos, brochures, flyers, business cards, newsletters, presentations, letterhead, menus, web graphics, etc.) & actually produce most printed products from my home office. The second was my custom tie-dye business (Over the Rainbow), which consisted of me & my children making very unique tie-dyed tapestries, sheets, scarves, skirts, dresses, baby clothes and other items. We set up a booth at music festivals, etc. & sold our products from it.

I have worked very hard to get where I was when I moved here from Maryland. I have always fought against ridicule from every side, especially when it comes to my parenting. I have been a single mother since I was barely 17 years old. I graduated high school with two children & college with three. I have been a Graphic Artist, since I graduated college in 1996 with my Associates Degree: Computer Software Analyst (Graphics Specialty). While in college, I earned a 3.7 GPA, joined Phi Theta Kappa (National Honor Society), tutored & worked at the college, won a scholarship, was named in the “Who’s Who Among Students in American Junior Colleges” and got a job in my field that I started before I even walked & received my diploma. Over the next three years I worked for several employers including Raytheon Missle Systems, USPS (corporate presentations) & Alphagraphics. We moved to Maryland in 1999. I did several temporary jobs before I got a job formatting a Report to Congress for NOAA, which ended in the company I was working through {AllWorld Language Consultants (ALC),Inc.} hiring me on full-time. I worked for that company for the next 3+ years. By the time I quit to move to PA, I was the Art Director and Production Manager.

I was also starting up my own businesses on the side, which were becoming much harder to maintain while working full-time & raising my kids. My youngest sister, Jasmyne, had a bad split up with her husband & needed help. She had a 21/2 year old daughter & was pregnant. I wanted to help her, but knew I could not keep living in my 5 bedroom townhouse & expect to have her family there for any amount of time. I had saved enough money & had recently gotten engaged to a man who made a sufficient amount of income as well. We decided to buy a big house & move to the country. This way we could spend more time with the kids, get out of the big city, we would have enough room for everyone & I could focus on my two rapidly growing businesses. After much research & searching I found my house in Robin Hood Lakes Estates. We all moved into our very large new home with the best intentions: to focus on raising our children & bettering our future.

Over two years later, I feel like I have somehow landed myself & my children way back before the starting line. It feels like all of my hard work has somehow ended in emptiness, great pain & a sense of dizziness for myself & my children. All we were doing is trying to live our lives in peace. We did not see the disaster closing in on us…

My three children, my Fiancé & myself went on a tour of the US in my RV to vending our tie-dyes at festivals. We planned the trip & bought Vendor Passes & tickets for the festivals. My kids & I worked very hard to prepare for this tour & couldn‘t wait!

I was also working for my graphics clients on laptop & phone. I had scheduled everything so that my graphics load was not so huge for these months so I could do everything.

I left my youngest sister, Jasmyne, with responsibility of the taking care of my house, bills & bank account (with plenty of money to cover everything). She was living in the apartment in the 2^nd story of my house with her two children, Aleah (4-years-old) & Isaiah (6-months-old). She had agreed to take care of everything at home while we were away in exchange for room & board for her & her children.

My fiancé had been having problems getting along with my children, which caused problems with us. He would not take my advice or handle situations as I suggested to him. This was extremely frustrating, since I take pride in my knowledge of parenting methods & ability to apply them to real situations. I guess being that close together finally proved that he could not cut it as the father figure. This posed a huge problem & we split up in California.

We had mechanical problems with the RV, and had to leave it in Arizona. To get home to take care of everything in time, we were then forced to ride with a friend, in a small car, with everything we could fit and my kitty cat. The lot that was holding the RV said it would not be a problem as long as I came back to get it within one month.

We arrived home from our long trip across country. We were VERY tired & worn down. After unpacking, I didn’t do much but sleep for the next few days. I noticed the house was dirty, but didn’t go out of my room much. I mentioned something to my sister, & she cleaned up the kitchen & living room. I thought all was well.

I got a call about a large client with lots of graphics work in Florida. This potential client needed me to prepare a proposal & be there in person to present it to them (in late August). At the same time, I had one of the largest, most lucrative, annual festivals coming up the following weekend. I needed to vend at this festival in order to try to make money & pay bills (especially with the RV situation). I made flight arrangements and calls to prepare for both of these events. The kids wanted to stay home because they had been traveling & vending all summer. Jasmyne was fine with this. I BRIEFLY discussed these things with Jasmyne and explained that the house had to be kept up & that we would discuss the bill situation when I returned.

I left my kids with Jasmyne & went to Sunshine Daydream Festival Site and Campground in West Virgina to work from my cabin on my laptop & prepare for the festival that weekend. I was doing all of the graphics for the Festival/campsite & got to stay in a cabin (among other fringe benefits) whenever I wanted to.

I Vended at the festival (Jerry Garcia’s Birthday Bash). I made a good amount of profit & had a good time. I really felt like I deserved it after how the tour had turned out! After the show, I packed & left for home.

I Arrived home with my proposal almost completed & money from vending to pay bills with. I Had a plane ticket for Monday, August 23 to fly to Florida & present my proposal to my potential client. My appointment was for early morning on August 25^th. I rested until Sunday afternoon. I stayed in my room, office, kitchen & living room the whole time.

I woke up (early afternoon), packed for my trip & finished up my proposal. I noticed that the house was very dirty, but did not have time to look deeper. I offered to get a different babysitter for my kids until my return from FL (set for 26th of Aug). Jasmyne assured me she would clean up the house & the kids would be fine. The kids even said a lot of it was their mess & promised to help Jasmyne clean it up. I still had reservations about leaving because I just had a bad feeling. I reluctantly agreed to go ahead with my plans because I really needed this client & the money it would produce.

I flew to Florida for my proposal. After I got to my hotel, I stayed up late ‘fine tuning’ everything. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was worried about my kids, house & the proposal I had been anticipating.

I woke up to my sister on the phone (approx. 6:00 am). She was very upset. She was crying & saying all this stuff about our neighbor, her friend & cops not responding. She was so upset, I could not make sense out of much. It was so early in the morning, I had so much trouble going to sleep the prior night & I was in Florida where I could not do much. So I just made sure the kids were alright. I then told her that I couldn’t do anything right now & to calm down & I would call her later. I fell right back to sleep because I was so tired & had to be at my best early the next morning.

I woke up again to my sister on the phone (approx. 3:30 pm). This time I could understand her a little better. She was still very upset. She proceeded to tell me that Children & Youth workers & police were in my house. They were taking not only her children, but mine as well into protective custody. I was so upset that I had to get off the phone & get my bearings!

I called back, after a minute, and spoke with a Children & Youth worker on the phone. She explained, briefly, that they had gotten a call reporting deplorable living situation & loud ‘partying’ late at night from my house. When they responded, my house was extremely dirty & my sister appeared to have been drinking. I should get home right away, & do what I could to fix the situation at the house. They would be filing a petition for custody & they would see me in court 9:00 am on the 26th of August.

After calming down & assessing the situation, I called the airline to get the first flight home. I could get nothing until 8:00 am the next morning. I booked the flight. Then I had to call my client & explain that I could not be there for the proposal after all of the work I had put in! They were very understanding, but could not re-book my proposal because they needed someone as soon as possible. So I lost the prospective client that I had spent so much time, effort & money trying to get!

I flew home to Philadelphia at 8:00 am. I had a friend pick me up & drive me home. I arrived at my house at 3:30 pm. I talked to my sister long enough to tell her that we could not fight or even really discuss the situation at this time. We were both too emotional about it all & we needed to be in court the next morning. We had to work together if we were to get our children back. To top all of this off, school started for my kids the next Monday (August 30).

I walked through my house & was APPAULED! It was apparent to me that there had been drinking/’partying’ going on & that no one had done anything to clean up after any of this. It was also apparent that it was not just my sister that had done this.

I suppressed my anger & questions for the time being. We began to clean up the house. My sister agreed that it would be best not to discuss it all too much so that we could focus on what needed done, for the sake of our children. We were cleaning until way into the night (possibly early morning).

The one thing that we did discuss was how the police and Children & Youth had come to be in the house in the first place. She told me that our neighbor (Steve Francunas) had come up the stairs on the side of the house, down the outside balcony, broke the window in the door to her apartment with a lead pipe & hit her friend (Patrick Farrar) over the head with the pipe two times. Patrick blocked the third blow with his elbow & Steve left. Jasmyne then called 911. When the police responded to the call, they went next door, to Mr. Francunas’ house & talked to him for some time. Finally they came over to my house & briefly talked to Jasmyne & left, without even taking a report from her or Patrick. Later that day, Children & Youth had shown up at the house. My children later confirmed her story. To date, I have gone to the police station, in person, four times to find out why no charges are being filed against Mr. Francunas. Each time, the police looked up the incident. They then assured me that this was an open investigation & he would be charged for his actions.

The house was far from being completely clean or put back together, but we had made huge improvements. I bought some film for my Polaroid camera & took 30 pictures of these improvements to take to court with us the next morning.

I went to court at 9:00 am with my sister. We only met our public defender less than a half hour before court & did not have time to prepare her with all of the information. The pictures were all we had. Also, I had been out of town with my kids all summer & did not really know what had been going on at my house.

The court gave legal & physical custody of all of my children & Jasmyne’s children to the State. They said they would review the case in no more than six months. Children & Youth promised to come to my house the next day & inspect it. If my house was acceptable, they promised to return the kids home.

Children & Youth came to the house & found that there was enough improvement & beds ready to bring home two of my kids. I came up with several different solutions that would make it possible to bring them all home. They finally agreed to return Djinn & Kat that day & return Kyla on Sunday. This was because Kyla was placed with Jasmyne’s kids, who were babies & did not understand what was going on. I told them I was alright with this as long as I could talk to Kyla on the phone first to explain. At about 6:00 pm Katrina & Djinn were returned home. I never got the chance to talk to Kyla on the phone.

I took Kat & Djinn school supply & clothes shopping for school on Monday. Later that night, Kyla finally called. She said she was alright, but I could tell that she was upset & felt like she was not as important or as wanted as her siblings. When I asked Children & Youth why they did not let me talk to Kyla before they brought the other kids home, they said they were “too busy”.

Our first Children & Youth worker, Dawn Walker, returned Kyla home at about 5:00 pm. We didn’t get to go school shopping until after school had already started. Everyone was quite shaken up by this whole ordeal, but we were all very happy to be back together. Jasmyne & I were not getting along very well, but we were holding it in for the sake of the children. She may have made her mistakes, but I knew she was really a great mother who deserved to have her children with her.

All three of my kids started school on time. Katrina (Kat) was in 9th grade at Pleasant Valley High School. Kyla was in 7th grade at Pleasant Valley Middle School. Djinn was attending Behavioral Health Academy (BHA) in Lehighton, in 6th grade. Djinn was going to BHA because he had problems in Pleasant Valley Intermediate School the prior year. He was placed at BHA two weeks before school let out the prior year.

Djinn had to wake up at 5:45 am to catch the bus at 6:15 am in front of our house. Then he had to ride the bus for an hour. Finally, he got to school & class started at 7:30 am. The early morning wake up & falling asleep just to have to wake up again to start school was hard for him. To make matters worse, his learning disability quickly became an issue.

When Djinn started at BHA in 2004, he got in trouble for having an attitude on the first day. As a punishment for this, they put him in a little room all by himself at a desk with papers to work on. He almost immediately fell asleep. Because he fell asleep he was put back in the same situation the next and he fell asleep again. This went on for about a week or so. I don’t know why the school could not see that their method of disciplining was not working in this case, and that they had created a viscous circle that was not helping anyone.

Djinn has had an IEP (Individual Education Plan). He has been diagnosed with a learning disability since 3rd grade. He is mildly dyslexic & learns differently than other kids. He was later diagnosed with ADHD, a mood disorder & anger management problems. He is extremely intelligent. He has had verbal evaluations and scored very high on them.

If you SHOW Djinn how to do something so he can see it with his eyes, he will do it better than you can. On the other hand, if you give him something to read the instructions & then write the answers, he will be completely lost, get angry at you, act like he doesn’t care or just go to sleep. One instructor told me that he had a college level vocabulary in the 4^th Grade! He can hold a conversation with an adult where they would swear they were talking with an adult, or a mature teenager. He is a very talented, creative, artist, & can build, carve or create just about anything he gets the whim to. He has a huge heart & cares about everyone. Anyone that talks with him long enough to get to know him will tell you that he is one of the sweetest boys they have ever met!

He has built up a defense system within himself. He has been teased because of his learning disability & hurt because of his big heart. This defense system is to either act like a total clown & make people laugh at him or to act like he is a tough guy & be mean so that people will be scared of him & leave him alone. He also has a very quick temper, which can be a very bad thing when combined with his ‘gift for gab’. This can cause all of the bad words & phrases in his college level vocabulary to come out at once. The results can be extremely shocking & he can be very hurtful with his words. However, if he has a minute to cool of & think before he talks, he is very forgiving & open-minded. This usually ends the conflict in a positive & productive way, as long as he can calm down & think for a minute. Since life does not always give you a minute to calm down if you have an issue with someone, I have been working very hard on helping Djinn to define signs that he is getting upset & ways to avoid any conflict.

Children & Youth required several things of me in order to get legal custody of my kids back, all of which I would have already been doing at that time. These things were dentist appointments, doctor appointments, fixing & cleaning up the house, some sort of services or counseling for Djinn & counseling for my daughter, Kat (she had personal issues that Children & Youth had been made aware of). I also did several things that Children & Youth did not require: getting Kat on birth control, contacting Big Brother - Big Sister for Kyla & Djinn, faxing them weekly reports on what I was doing & the progress made, among many other things.

Djinn had been getting nothing out of school at BHA. A special IEP meeting was set for Sept 15, where we were going to decide what action should be taken from here. At that meeting, it was decided that he should go to KidsPeace hospital for a week or two. He was admitted to the KidsPeace hospital. We talked on the phone every day. The girls & I visited him one time at KidsPeace. He did not like it, but I encouraged him to give it a chance. He said he would try to cooperate so he could go home & back to regular school.

I got a call from the lot that was holding my RV in Arizona. They informed me that I had to come get my RV or they were going to keep it, along with everything in it. They would let no one else could claim it. My booth & all of my merchandise was in it! This meant that if I did not come get my RV I would lose my entire tie-dye business. Over the Rainbow (my tie-dye business) accounted for over half of my income on my last tax return!

Children & Youth told me that I could go get my RV, but I would have to place my girls in foster care while I was gone. This was because they would not clear anyone to watch them while I was gone. I talked to my girls about the situation, visited Djinn at Kids Peace & discussed it with him. I then, reluctantly, agreed to give the girls back to foster care while I was gone.

On October 11, I met the Children & Youth worker and the foster parents in the Children & Youth office parking lot at 6:00 pm. I had prepared the girls with bags of their clothes & personal things. I wrote a letter for the foster parents with specific instructions & tips on the girls so that this could be a little easier. I was supposed to be back in one week (Oct. 19th). I left on a plane the next morning from Philadelphia to Tucson, to bring my RV home.

When I got to where the RV was being held in Tucson, I was faced with a few problems. First, the lot that was holding the RV was charging me more than I anticipated to get it out. Then, the windshield had been broken & needed replaced before I could drive it home. Even with all of these drawbacks, I was able to leave only a few days later than I had anticipated (Oct. 16). Unfortunately, I was very short on money & as I calculated it, would barely have gas money to make it home.

Not long into the trip, I discovered that the original problem we had with the RV had not been fixed. There was a very bad oil leak which made it impossible to go over 50mph. I also had to stop every 100 miles to add oil (by the end of the trip it was ever 50 - 60 miles). Of course, I was concerned about not getting home on time. I called my house collect because I did not have any extra money. I spoke to Jasmyne & asked her to please make sure she called Children & Youth to explain the delay. I called her at least four times over the course of the trip (all collect). Each time she promised that she would relay my messages to Children & Youth. I actually had to have a client Western Union some money to me in Ohio because I was not going to make it home on the money I had. I only slept two times on the entire trip because I was so worried about my children & getting back to work. I actually broke out in a rash, all over my face & neck, from the stress of it all!

I finally got home late at night on Friday, October 22. I went in to the Children & Youth office Monday morning. I met with Dawn Walker. She told me that I could not have my children back because I was so late getting back & had not contacted them to explain why! When I got home, Jasmyne assured me that she had left six messages on the Children & Youth worker’s phone. I asked Dawn if she had gotten any of my messages. She said that she only got one message the day before I got home! They had all new rules now of what they wanted me to do to get my kids back. I could not believe I was in this situation of no power over my children AGAIN!

Children & Youth proceeded to pry & snoop into every aspect of our lives. They continue to do so to this day. Right after I got home from Arizona with the RV, they decided that they wanted to start taking urine samples from me. The only reason they could come up with was that I had been convicted of possession of Marijuana in 1991. There was only one time that I had any trace of anything in my system. I told them that I had been in a very smoky room for quite a while when I was in Arizona. I had not noticed that they were smoking marijuana. When I did notice it, I immediately left. I told my worker that I was sure that I had been in there long enough to get it in my system. So that test had very light traces of THC. Every test since that (and there have been a multitude) has come back clean. Children & Youth would even stop by randomly & watch me pee in my own bathroom!

Kat had been having problems at every foster home they put her in, & they were going to have to transfer her out of the school district to transfer her again! She had NEVER had any of the problems she was having in foster care when she was at home with me. She had DEFINITELY never had anger problems or problems with acting out. I went to the Children & Youth office (not very pleased) to talk to the worker. She agreed this was not in Kat’s best interest & allowed me to take Kat. It was several more weeks until Kyla finally came home. Again, Kyla was effected in a negative way. She felt like she was not as important because she was after Kat to come home again.

Meanwhile, they had been giving my son all sorts of drugs & had moved him into a specialized foster home by himself. They transferred him from the KidsPeace hospital into the KidsPeace partial program. I went to weekly counseling sessions with him at the partial program. I went to weekly visits with the girls & Djinn while they were in care. These were only one hour in a little room at their office. All of Children & Youth’s requirements were exceeded & had been for quite some time. My son still did not come home to me until December 4^th!

During all of this drama & turmoil, Jasmyne was dealing with her own issues. We were trying to co-exist in my house for the sake of the children. The plan was for her to get her children back & then move to her cousin’s house in Oregon. I really tried to be patient & understanding. I guess it was a bad idea because we did, finally, have a confrontation. We were upstairs when this occurred. None of the kids actually saw anything. It happened very fast, but we both regretted it later. I grabbed her by her throat after she said something that was very hurtful & unacceptable. Then I let go & she left. She had red marks on her throat when she went to the Children & Youth office. They asked where they came from & she told them what happened. I had to take Anger Management classes & counseling sessions that covered anger management. I still say that I did practice anger management. It could have been so much worse, under the circumstances.

Shortly after this, Jasmyne moved out. She said she had a place in Maryland already waiting for her. She has been in MD for over a year now. She has been getting no results in trying to get her babies back. It is all red tape because she moved out of state. There is no other reason for them to keep her babies. They are just waiting for Maryland to check out her house. This is something called an Interstate Compact. Because of this, her children have been in foster care for over a year & a half!

With all of this going on, my work had taken second place. This put us in quite a financial hole. I found myself scrambling to try to catch up. I lost several key clients and missed several large festivals was scheduled to vend at. This made it seemed that no matter what I did, I could not catch up, let alone get ahead.

We struggled through Christmas, New Year and the girls’ Birthdays. I felt awful about not being able to give them much. We all had a new sense of how special our family was & were just grateful to be together again! All of Children & Youth’s requirements were more than fulfilled, but it was still a complete invasion of our lives that they could (and would) just stop in whenever they wanted to look around, ask us all questions & make me pee in a cup.

This went on until court on February 24^th. The judge returned full legal & physical custody of my children to me. We still had a follow up worker who would come out every two weeks to check up on us. They never said how long this would go on for. Our follow-up worker came for several visits & then they changed to another worker (Audrey Rice). Audrey had visited us three times. One time I was sick, but the other two were fairly normal days. Life seemed to be getting back on track for us. I was still worried about how I was going to get us back on track monetarily though.

The children seemed to be doing much better & we were working together to get our lives back. I was trying to get them to open up & process their feelings so we could put this all behind us. They were all happy to all be home & in my custody. Djinn continued to have problems at school. He was transferred from the KidsPeace partial to Swiftwater Intermediate RESOLVE program. He was there several months & made some progress. He was then transferred to Second Chance Academy after another stay at the KidsPeace Hospital. This string of transfers all started with an episode at Swiftwater when he got upset with a teacher & locked himself in the bathroom. He was yelling & telling them to leave him alone. I was working on site in New York that day, so I could not calm the situation down as quickly as I usually could.

I was always working & actually went through the process of refinancing our home. I could not seem to get enough work in the graphics area. It was winter so I had no festivals to vend at. The refinancing took way too long & produced not at all what it had promised to begin with. I had to look at other options of how I was going to keep this house and support my family. I had considered renting the apartment out, since it had been empty since Jasmyne had left. I really did not know or trust anyone around here, so that option was rejected. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle.

I guess it was some time in March that my other sister, Amber Buckingham, called me. She was in a very bad situation. Her situation was as follows, without getting into great detail: She found herself without a home; unable to get a job anywhere where she had relatives to stay with; resorting to sending her children to stay with other relatives. After we talked a long time, we came to the conclusion that we might be able to help each other out. Our only problem was how to get her out here so she could move into the apartment & we could figure out where to go from there.

I decided that I would sell my RV to make the money for some bills and to help with the expenses of the trip to move Amber‘s family & their belongings. We had some family members that offered to pitch in as well. I started to ask around, & found one friend (in AZ) that wanted to buy it. He wanted it so badly that he offered to pay me when I got to AZ & even come to PA to pick it up later! The only problem was that Amber did not have a license at the time, so she could not drive a rental truck to move all of thier stuff. I found a solution, although it involved me coming out there to get her. I discussed it with my children. A friend of mine (22-year-old male) offered to take the time off work to stay at my house while I went out to get Amber & her kids. Everything seemed to be coming together nicely.

In May, one of Kyla’s best friends invited her to go to Costa Rica with her & her father (who is a very good friend of mine). They were supposed to leave for two weeks in late June. We ordered her passport & prepared all of the documents she needed. She was very excited. I was supposed to be home in time to see her off.

I worked out all of the details and bought my plane ticket to Arizona. By the time I came to get her, Amber was staying at our father’s house with her baby, Tristan (then 2-years-old), her daughter, Sierra (then 10-years-old) & her son, Damian (then 13-years-old). Her 9-year-old son, Zach, was still living with his Uncle in Phoenix. When I got to AZ, I went to my dad’s house where I picked up Amber & the kids. I reserved a Budget truck online from my dad‘s house. We picked it up in Tucson the next day. We then went to start picking up her things that had been stored in several different places. The last place on our packing mission was Bisbee. There were three places in Bisbee which had a lot of her stuff in them to pack into the Budget truck. The friend who had promised to buy the RV also lived in Bisbee, so it seemed like it was working out perfectly. At this time, everything seemed fine at home. I called at least once a day to check up on my children, our house & the situation at home.

I thought there might be a small delay when I went to do the paperwork for the RV. My friend said he was waiting to be paid for a job & did not have the money that he had promised me when I left PA. I started to get concerned when 3 days passed. The following Friday, about one week into the trip, I was in a state of panic! The title needed to be notarized & the notary was not open on the weekend. I signed the title over to him because he might get paid on the weekend & I would have to wait until Monday to notarize the title. This entire time I was being charged for the Budget truck, which was loaded & ready to go. Kyla had to be seen off by the babysitter for her trip to Costa Rica. Everyone at home still insisted that everything was fine there.

Two weeks passed & I was so concerned about what was happening at home that Damian’s Grandma (Caryl Marie Brendle) helped me get tickets for Amber & her boys. I planned to drive the Budget truck across country with Sierra (and her kitty). That way she could be there to hold down the house & get everything ready for all of her stuff to arrive. I continued to call home every day. The babysitter & kids all insisted that everything was fine, but I still felt that there was no way it could be.

It had been about three weeks since I left home when Caryl Marie drove Amber & the boys to the airport in Phoenix, so they would be ready to catch the plane the next day. That same day, my “friend” finally paid me most of the money for the RV. That evening Sierra & I left Bisbee in the Budget truck. I was trying to make as much time as possible because I felt an overwhelming bad feeling from home.

I was driving into Colorado, late the next night, when I got a call from a neighbor. She said that my kids had been taken from my house in the middle of the night! She continued to say that the cops had been called with allegations that my son was being tied up & beaten. They got there & the allegations were proven false. Still the cops took my kids because the house was in “disarray”. I called the police station, & they told me that Children & Youth had taken them into protective custody. I called my Children & Youth worker, & was informed that I would usually have 72 hours to come get my kids; but I could not get back that quickly. Even if I could, there would be no one working because it was the holiday weekend (July 4^th), so she would just see me in court on Tuesday (July 6^th).

If it had not been for how supportive & absolutely wonderful Sierra was, I don’t know if I could have finished that trip! She took my hand after I got off the phone with the Children & Youth worker & told me “Aunt Rainbow. Breathe in through your nose & out through your mouth. In with the good & out with the bad.” After those words of wisdom from someone so young & innocent, I felt like I could take anything on. We just tried to make the best of the trip & get there safely. We had to make a lot of stops for the kitty to go potty, but it was mainly a smooth trip.

Children & Youth showed up to my house the morning after my sister had arrived & threatened to take my sisters boys into protective custody for 24 hours. They said the house was a mess & unsafe for the kids. My sister sent the boys to a friend’s house & told them to come back to check the house in 24 hours. They had no choice but to do so. They came back & the house was cleaned up enough to be acceptable for them.

We finally got home late at night on the 4^th of July. I did my best to rest for court, but couldn’t sleep well & was very stressed out about my kids. I had to go into court knowing that they were not going to give my kids back to me. I did not even see my lawyer until she ran up the stairs panting, two minutes before court started. This was just what they needed to yank my kids back into their clutches! To make matters even worse, I was EXHAUSTED from the trip & already had not seen my children for way longer than I had planned when this trip began.

Even though she had no time to really prepare for the hearing, my lawyer did point out several things that were essential to my case. She brought out facts that proved this was a completely different situation & that no one could have foreseen any of it. They did not care that this whole situation had happened because my sister & I were trying to help each other to make all of our lives better. I truly believe that if we had our original worker (Amanda Yoka) we would have all gone home together, because she actually knew us. The judge didn’t even seem to listen to anything that I said at all. I believe that she had already made up her mind when the hearing began. There is no way that she read my whole case over the holiday weekend! All she said when she gave custody (that I had fought so hard to get back) to the state was, “this seems like the same thing again & again!” When both Kat & Djinn broke into tears, I could not help but talk out in court to say “you people are not for the children! Look at my children!” I had to leave the courtroom before I said anything else.

I asked my lawyer to immediately file for a new custody hearing. The hearing was set for August 12^th. Children & Youth actually made me go to Maryland, take Kyla from her friend’s house where she was being treated like a princess, bring her back to PA, & give her to a foster family! Children & Youth wanted me to get Djinn on SSI. This was required so he could get back on ACCESS (state medical aide) & receive services to help with his issues. I had planned on this anyway, so I went through the lengthy process. They wanted me to have child care lined up, just in case I had to leave for anything. I told them I would sign something saying that I would not leave my children with anyone at all. After all of this, I had no intention of leaving my kids with anyone, ever! They insisted that I have some sort of child care lined up, so I made a contract on the computer & got the names of child care providers from their office. After a lot of calling & explaining, I found one who would sign the contract saying she would be ready to watch my kids if needed. They told me that this was not good enough because this person had not had their child abuse clearance within the past six months. They don’t even require this for these people to be paid by them! I finally found a person that met their requirements & had the contract signed. I did all of this & everything else they asked me. It really seemed like they were making things up & changing the rules as they went.

They finally brought my girls home (I believe it was July 17^th) but Djinn did not come home for two more days because he was on vacation with his foster family & they had no way to get a hold of him. I was not happy about this at all! I had told Audrey I WOULD provide them with the proof of child care they wanted before the foster family left for this vacation (even though I wasn’t going anywhere without my kids) & she still did not tell the foster parents.

By the time August 11th arrived, there was absolutely no reason or excuse left that the state could keep custody of my children. I had fulfilled all of Children & Youth’s requests, kept all my appointments, in-home visits, passed all drug screens & managed to get my sister & her children fairly settled in upstairs. I had also done several things that they did not require, so I was fairly confident that I would get custody back in court the next day.

Of course, Children & Youth recommended the state keep custody when we got to court. No one in the courtroom argued the fact that I had fulfilled every request & passed every ‘test’ that Children & Youth thrown my way. No one argued that I was a good mother or that my children were doing well with me at home. In fact, I could see no reason that the state should even need to think about keeping custody. I had my lawyer ask “why do you want to keep custody of her children at this time?” The worker (Audrey Rice) simply answered, “just to make sure…“ I could not help but to say, “to make sure that you get a paycheck.“ The judge followed their recommendation & kept custody with the state. He set a new hearing date of December 12^th.

The next several months went by fairly smooth. I was watching the baby while Amber worked because Amber was not approved to watch my kids so that I could go get a job away from my home office. If I was working I would make at least twice what Amber was making. We were forced to switch our plan around & settle for less money & more work. I was working very hard to try to get my business running smoothly again. I got credit card accepting equipment & was building my website to accept custom orders for graphics and tie-dyes.

Djinn was having a bit of trouble at school because he kept falling asleep. I was doing all I could to try to remedy the situation, but I think the medication he was on was messing with his sleep patterns. He would seem to be asleep and I would check him several times before I would go to sleep. The next morning he would tell me that he woke up in the night & could not fall back to sleep. Then he would sleep in school & get in trouble. He did not want to go to school most mornings & would try to say he was sick.

I was kind of concerned about Kyla because she had been very withdrawn & did not want to talk to me or Kat, no matter how hard we tried to get her to. She always wanted to spend time with her best friend, Danielle. Kat, Amber and myself were working on ways to get her to open up. Kat actually broke up with her boyfriend because he was talking bad about Kyla.

Kat was actually doing very well with the new counselor she was seeing. The biggest issue with her was trying to get her to keep her room clean. In the last half of November, Kat started having fainting spells. They were very scary. She ended up in the hospital for two days, under observation. They did every kind of test you can think of & found nothing wrong with her. They eventually sent her home with some anti-depressants, which she stopped taking because could not go to sleep. I was still worried & was watching her very closely.

We had some issues adjusting to having Amber & her kids living upstairs. I think the biggest one was trying to make special time with my kids individually while dealing with my businesses, money issues, & Amber’s family adjusting to being here. I was feeling very overwhelmed & sometimes felt like I could not do it. My kids were, and still are, what makes me able to keep going & why I can never give up.

On the night of December 8, our Children & Youth worker (Audrey Rice) showed up at the house with a male worker. They said that they had heard that extra people were living in the house & that the kids were doing drugs/drinking. They did a very thorough ‘walk through’ & took pee tests from everyone who could pee. I was already very stressed out about work, money, court on Monday & just everything because I could not relax or do what I wanted with my own children & my life in general. Everyone settled down & appeared to be sleeping, or on their way to sleeping. I went to ask Amber if she would watch the kids & house so I could go to my friend, Wendy’s, house & sit in her Jacuzzi to try to relax. We knew it was going to be a snow day the next day, she knew how stressed I had been & she thought it was a good idea. I told Kat (the only kid who seemed coherent) where I was going & why. I hugged & kissed the kids before I left. Little did I know that my life & theirs would never be the same. I never got to relax that night & am beginning to wonder if I ever will be able to again!

I was sitting in the Jacuzzi at Wendy’s house (approx. 1:00 am) when I got a phone call from Kat’s ex-boyfriend, Joe. He told me that I had to call our neighbor, Art’s, house because our house was on fire! I immediately called Art’s & Amber answered. She told me that the whole house was burning! My first question was, “is everyone alright?” She told me that everyone got out except Sierra. They could not get Sierra out of the fire! I did not want to believe that what she was telling me could be reality. I asked, “where is she?” Amber responded shaken, “I think she’s gone.”

I scrambled to get dressed & tell Wendy what was going on at the same time. Large flakes of snow had started coming down very quickly outside. I had to heat up my van & get the windows cleared enough to drive. My heater & defroster were not working, so I had to bundle up & drive with the window down a little bit. Every second seemed like it took an hour to pass! I began the drive to Art’s house. I had to force myself to drive slower & try to be safe. I could barely see through the snow & fogged up windshield. I just kept praying that I had somehow misunderstood the phone call or that they had been mistaken & Sierra was still alive. I was in shock. I could not even do anything except shake & keep saying, under my breathe, “Sierra…Sierra…“ This trip seemed to take hours!

I finally pulled around the corner of Lake Drive (in Robin Hood Lakes Estates) & had to take an alternate route to Art’s house. I took the turn before I would have to pass my house. I could see the light from the fire, the smoke & the lights from the emergency vehicles from two blocks away where I turned. I just did not have the heart to see my house, my niece & everything we owned burn to the ground!

At Art’s house, everyone was sitting around in a state of shock. Poor Amber did not even have shoes on! I hugged Amber first & told her I was so sorry I was not home. She told me there was nothing I could do & it was not my fault. I then hugged all of the kids & made sure they were physically unharmed. When I got to Djinn, I could tell he was more upset than the others. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything. He said, “I tried to get her out, Mama. I couldn’t breathe anymore,,, then she stopped screaming!“ I hugged him for a long time while he cried & I assured him that it was not his fault. There was a fire official there that was questioning everyone. He took my statement & then they said they would have to take Amber to the hospital to take blood from her. I asked why they needed blood from her. They explained that they needed to test for carbon monoxide & that this was standard procedure in a house fire. I protested because she had just lost her only daughter, she did not even have shoes & there was a blizzard outside. I did not see why they could not manage to take blood there? They said they had to, so I reluctantly gave her my shoes & hugged her as she walked out the door for the hospital. After she left with the police officer, a man from the Red Cross asked me a lot of questions while filling out some forms. When he was done, he gave me a voucher for clothes at WalMart & a voucher for hotel rooms at the Best Western for a week. He was very nice, but it was very hard for me to focus on anything. Finally, all of the fire fighters, police & other officials left.

The rest of the night was sort of a blur. Art was nice enough to let us all stay there, even though he had to sleep on the floor himself. No one could really sleep for a long time. It was sort of spooky. No one really talked. We just sat there & stared at the TV without really watching. I must have fallen to sleep at some point, because I woke up in Danielle’s room late in the day. I felt hollow, like there was nothing inside of me at all.

Art was a complete saint. He let us all stay at his house for two more days, even though there was really not enough room for us at all. It was very hard for me to try to even think about anything I had to do in order to start to put our lives back together. Several neighbors brought us donations of clothes & things we would need. One neighbor even made a cash donation. I thought that our neighbors might have finally seen that we were not doing anything bad & were just normal people trying to live. It just seemed like a shame to me that it took such a tragedy to open their eyes to their own behavior.

On December 11^th I checked us into the Best Western. I walked around in sort of in a daze for I don‘t know how long. I let Danielle stay with us at the hotel the first night because the kids really wanted her there & her father had been so kind to let us stay at their house. That night, after Amber & I fell asleep, the kids snuck out of the room & ran around the hotel a little bit. We did not find out about this until several days later.

I took over all of the official business for my sister because I could not even see her being able to handle it. I missed Sierra terribly & could not even imagine how Amber must feel! I took all the phone calls, arranged the services, dealt with the funeral home, dealt with Sierra’s school & anything else that needed to be done at that time. We had a reporter from the Pocono Record newspaper come to the hotel to interview us on the fire. I offered to talk to them for Amber if she did not feel up to it, but she said she was ok. There was a beautiful story on the front page of the newspaper on December 12^th.

I walked around like a numb shell of myself for the next several days. I was just going through the motions that I knew were necessary. I dealt with the funeral home, the setting up of Sierra’s services, setting up a place to stay after the services & all kinds of other things that required me to re-live the fire & the death of Sierra again & again. My youngest sister, Jasmyne, came up to be supportive & attend the services for Sierra. She & her boyfriend got a room at the Best Western as well. I was so completely drained on the night of Sierra’s services that I did not even feel like I was able to attend. I offered to watch Tristan for Amber during the services so we would not have to find a babysitter. By this time, we already knew that there were going to be services in Arizona for her & we had been invited. I knew that Children & Youth would have to approve, we would have to get tickets out there somehow & it was the holiday season. I was not very optimistic about it, but I was still hopeful.

On December 14^th the kids wanted to go eat at the café on the lower level of the hotel. We had vouchers to eat there every day. Amber & I were both not feeling up to going down there to eat, so we sent the kids alone. When they came back they were all telling us that they had a problem down there. They told us that Djinn was accused of stealing money from a table. They all insisted that this was not true & that there was a misunderstanding. Djinn admitted that he had made a comment about it, but had not actually done anything.

I contacted the Salvation Army & they had a two-bedroom apartment that they offered to let us all live in for a month. On December 16^th, I had not gone over there to sign papers & do whatever it took to get us moved in yet, but was planning on it that day. I had a meeting set up at Children & Youth that the worker wanted everyone to be at. I had a flat tire on the way to pick up Kat from school. I was on my way, but knew she would be waiting out there in the cold for me. I contacted my ex-fiancé, Paisley, who was in the area working on a roofing job. He said he would meet me at the high school so that she could sit in the car & wait for me. I fixed the tire & headed over there, the whole time I was in contact with my sister at the hotel. Amber said that Children & Youth had been calling. They were very impatient & wanted us there right away. I told Paisley that we did not have much time & to please start driving to the hotel. I arrived at the hotel at probably the same time they did. I was met by Kat in the hallway. She was very upset & told me that the Children & Youth workers & the police were there to take my kids into custody! I found the workers & the cop they brought with them. When I asked them why they wanted to take my kids, they told me that it was because I did not tell them where we were planning to go after our time at the hotel was up. I told them about the apartment through Salvation Army & they wanted to know why I had not told them yet. I explained that I had only set it up the day before & that I had been extremely overwhelmed with all of the things I was doing for Sierra, Amber & the rest of the family. I then asked them why they did not just call me to ask if I had anything set up & they replied, “we knew you were doing a lot.” They agreed to follow us over to the apartment to check it out. The director of the Salvation Army program explained a few rules to us. She explained that we could not have company or leave the apartment after 10:00 pm; we had to sign in every night before 10:00 in a book at the office; there was no smoking, drinking or drugs & a few more rules. She agreed to let Jasmyne stay for a few days to help us out. After all of the explanation, paperwork & other details at the apartment, I asked if we could go to Sierra’s services in Arizona. I explained that my father had taken collections from friends & family. Mary Alice Roddick (supervisor of the Adolescent Crisis Unit) wrote a rough list while explaining that as long as I supplied them with the details of the trip, it should be able to be arranged. We then returned to the hotel to find that the hotel owner had been informed about the incident at the café & wanted us to get out of the hotel in one hour! Even though I tried to explain & we still had two days left on our vouchers, the man did not want to hear it & insisted. We started to move everything very quickly & were moved to the apartment by that evening.

Even though we were not going to be there long, we tried to make the apartment as much of a home as we could. On the evening of December 17^th my dad called to tell us that he had arranged a deal that was only good until 11:00 pm for plane tickets to Arizona. He wanted to know if he should buy them or not. Since Mary Alice had told us it could be arranged, I told him to go ahead & get the tickets. With everything that was happening, I completely forgot about my birthday (December 18^th). My sisters did not forget & arranged a small birthday party at Wendy’s house, in Lehighton. We all went down there on the evening of my Birthday. It was a very nice little family party with cake, ice-cream, presents & family. We had to sleep over because we could not go back to the apartment after 10:00 pm. I never thought that I was breaking any Children & Youth rules by doing this. I knew that I had to get permission to leave the state with my kids or to let them stay anywhere without me, but I thought this was alright. I had a very bad tooth through all of this & it got infected on my Birthday. My mouth was swollen very badly & I had to take antibiotics for 10 days. I was in bed with very bad pain for several days.

On Wednesday, December 21^st, that we met with Mary Alice & Audrey Rice at Children & Youth. They took a urine sample (as they did every time I saw them after the fire) & then took us into a room to talk. I explained about the plane tickets & they said that my kids could not go! They said the reason was that I had been dishonest when took my kids to stay at someone’s house without permission. I tried to explain the situation, but they would not listen. So we just left without much further discussion. My children were more upset than I was, which made me more upset. We just left so we could all calm down some.

Thursday, December 22^nd, was a very full day. I had a lot of errands to run; including picking up Sierra’s last report card, school pictures & a bag of donated clothes from the intermediate school. After all of this, I picked up the kids at school. We all went over to Art’s house & a few neighbors showed up. We all talked for quite a while, had dinner with them & lost track of time. I noticed the time & told the kids we had to go. We were pushing it to make it back to the apartment by 10:00. We pulled into the parking lot at 10:05 & I signed the book at 10:10. We all went to bed as normal.

The next morning I got ready for the day, woke up the kids because I needed to run errands, called Mary Alice & left her a message & went outside to warm up the van & have a cigarette. As soon as I turned the van over, a car with Mary Alice driving & a police car pulled up. My heart immediately sunk. They got out of the cars & I asked them what was going on. Mary Alice told me that they were taking my children into protective custody, AGAIN! I asked her why & was told that it was because I had been dishonest. She asked me where my van was at 10:30 last night. I told her it was parked right were it was. She told me that I was lying because she waited for my van to show up until after 10:30 & I was not there. I tried to tell her that I had signed the book at 10:10 last night, but I don’t think anything I had to say was going to change her mind. I tried to get her to explain, but she was not listening or giving me any choice. The police man said if I did not open the door that he would kick it in. I opened the door & told Amber what was happening. By that time, Kat had already went out the back window & down the hill. I had to yell for her to come back. She finally came walking around the building with the most heart-breaking look on her face. I reluctantly got the children to get ready to go with them. I asked Mary Alice if I could come to the office to discuss this with her. I had an appointment in Brodheadsville at 11:00 and would be able to meet with her after that. She said to call her. I did not find out until I called her right after my appointment that the Children & Youth office closed at noon that day! At least she stayed a little late to meet with me. When I got there she finally told me that the real reason they were taking my kids was that I was a flight risk! I could not believe it!! I was a flight risk because I had just lost everything that I owned & they had been tormenting my family for so long?! I was not going to run away from anything. I had done nothing wrong to run from & I still had lots of things to deal with here (Children & Youth was the biggest one). What kind of an organization rips children away from their parents two days before Christmas, after they have just been through a terrible tragedy?!

Later that day, Kat & Kyla called me. They told me that I should go to Arizona anyway. I was not going to, but they finally talked me into it. Kat made a good point when she said, “they are not going to let you see us anyway. You can’t be all alone for Christmas right now! You should go & be there for us too.” I could not even contact Djinn because of the holidays & he did not know my number by heart. I let Children & Youth know of my plans & gave them contact information for me while I was gone.

Amber, Jasmyne & I got ready for the trip to Arizona. It was very hard to be out in public. Everyone was in a festive mood & there was reminders everywhere of the holidays. All I could do was think about my kids, the fire, Sierra & what the heck I was going to do now.

Amber, Damian, Tristan, Jasmyne & myself left on the plane to Arizona early on Christmas day. My dad picked us up at the airport in Tucson & drove us to his house in Arivaca (approx. 50 miles into the desert). By the time we got there, I was so tired that I slept until the next day. We visited my dad, his wife & several other family members & friends for the next few days.

We drove to Bisbee on December 28^th so we could attend Sierra’s services on December 30^th. We were staying at Caryl Marie Brendle’s house. Caryl is sort of a second mother to me, since my mother died January 13^th, 1994. Our families have been close all of my life & before. We all visited, shared happy memories about Sierra & tried not to dwell on the horrible events of the past few weeks.

Early afternoon on December 29^th I got a phone call from Mary Alice. She said, “the Fire Marshall wants to ask your kids a few more questions to wrap this whole investigation up.” I wanted nothing more than this all to be over so that we could try to get on with our lives. I told her that I wanted someone to be with them when they were questioned so that they did not get too upset. I tought about it & remembered that my kids had gotten along well with one worker at Children & Youth who always seemed to have the children’s best interest at heart. I told her that as long as that worker (Mary Boll) was with them, he could ask them a few questions. Many hours later I got another call from Mary Alice. She asked me if I was alone & if I had been drinking. I answered no to both questions & asked her why she was asking. She then told me that Djinn was being arrested for starting the fire! I felt like I was going to vomit. She went on to tell me that they would be taking him to a juvenile detention center & that he was being charged with arson & aggravated assault. For a minute or two I tried to calm down a bit, so I could be strong for Djinn & support him. Then Mary Alice put him on speaker phone. I asked him what was going on. He was very upset & crying, so it was hard to make out what he was saying. He said something about smoking a cigarette. I could make out something about a scarf catching fire & him putting it out. “I thought it was out, mama…I thought it was out…I tried to stomp it out…” he said through sniffles. “I tried to get her out. I really tried, Mama…Amber is going to hate me,” I could hear him say as the crying took over the words & I could no longer make out what he was saying. I made my best attempt to calm him down & reassure him that no one in our family would blame him or hate him. I tried to make him understand that anyone who knows him would know that he could never do anything to hurt anyone (especially Sierra) & definitely not to kill anyone. He was just getting more upset because we were talking about this at all. I told him how much I love him, to be strong & I would be home as soon as I could get there. Mary Alice took the phone line back off speaker. I told her that I would change my flight to get there as soon as I could & we got off the phone. Sierra’s services were the next day at 3:00, but I still attempted to change my flight over the phone that night. I ended up falling asleep while on hold with the phone in my hand.

I woke up late the next day & had a hard time trying to stop crying long enough to get ready for the services. I had written down something to say at the services, but could not muster up the strength in me to do it. It was hard enough to hold the tears back long enough to sing the song that my sisters & I had planned to sing. We did manage to sing it though & it was beautiful (Fly Away: Written by Paulina Stringer - our Mother). There were many other songs, stories & memories. Amber spoke for a while & told everyone there about Djinn’s arrest. She asked if we could all pray for him. We said a prayer for Djinn & sang a song for him right then. Over-all, the services were very beautiful. I left there & walked around Bisbee for about an hour crying & thinking about all of the recent events. Then I got a ride back to Caryl Marie’s house & cried myself to sleep.

The next day, we drove back to dad’s house in Arivaca. My dad is a musician, singer & song writer. He was scheduled to play at a New Year’s party with his band. I briefly tried online & the phone to change my ticket, but could not get anywhere at all. I figured that I should just go dance to my dad’s music & try again to change my flight tomorrow, when I might be able to get someone to help me. I got dressed, drove to the party, danced & visited with family members & old friends I had not seen for a long time.

Almost the entire day of January 1^st was spent on the phone & online attempting to change my flight for a earlier time. Even though I spent many hours attempting this, I still had no luck. That whole day I felt a terrible feeling of dread. I told my dad that I had that feeling & he said he was feeling the same way! That evening I got another call from Mary Alice. She told me that Djinn was being moved to ADULT JAIL and that he was now being charged with HOMICIDE, ARSON, AGGRIVATED ASSAULT (6 counts) & WRECKLESS ENDANGERMENT (6 counts)!!! I could not believe what I was hearing! How could anyone think that he deserved any of this?! He had already been through so much & there was no way he would ever do anything like this on purpose! I had to try to hold back some of my words because I was so upset. Mary Alice then told me that his arraignment hearing was scheduled for January 4^th. I asked if there was any way to postpone it because of all of the trouble I was having changing my flight. She said she would look into it. We got off the phone & I ran into the bathroom to throw up everything in my stomach! My father spent the rest of the night & part of the next morning on the phone & finally was able to change my flight for the day of the 4^th. There was still no way that I could get there in time for the hearing because I was flying into Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C. I called Mary Alice to see if she had any luck with info on how I could possibly get the hearing postponed. She gave me the number of the Magistrate & I called them to beg for a later date. I was told that there was no way they could postpone because of a time limit they had to keep by law.

For the rest of the time until my flight, I just did my best to keep breathing. My heart was in so much pain that this was hard to do. I kept kicking myself for ever leaving PA in the first place. I was very upset with Children & Youth and with the Fire Marshall for how they worked the whole thing so that I would not be present for this. I spoke with my girls & they told me that the Fire Marshall was so harsh that he had Kat in tears & Kyla “about ready to blow up.” I know (and I’m sure they did too) that I would NEVER have given anyone permission to question my children without my presence if I had even the slightest thought that there was a question of whether the fire was started by a person!

I boarded my plane & took off from Tucson at 7:00 am on January 4^th. After about an hour or so of circling, we landed back in Tucson. I had to be re-routed, delayed & slowed down all day long. Finally, I landed in D.C. & then my ride went to the Dulles National Airport (about an hour drive from Reagan National). It took us almost an hour on the phone to figure this out & I did not leave the airport until about 1:30 am! I went to a friend’s house in Maryland & immediately fell asleep.

The next day I woke up to a phone call from a teenage friend of my children’s. She was very upset & asked me if I had read the newspaper. When I told her that I had not, she started to tell me about the newspaper & TV stories that were being released that day & the day before. It was horrible! They were not only plastering my son’s name & face all over the news, but they were printing & airing statements from neighbors of ours in Robin Hood Lakes that were complete lies!! I had not even met any of these people & they were just making up things about our family! I could not see how these things could be actually used in the news & that people would just believe them?!! I drove to PA to start doing what I could to try to fix some of this mess. By the time I got to my friend’s house in Lehighton, I was extremely tired & it was late afternoon. I just made a bunch of phone calls, ate some dinner & fell asleep.

On January 6^th I woke up early & drove into Stroudsburg. I dealt with Children & Youth: their questions, paperwork & pee test. I wanted to set something up for a visit with my girls for my oldest daughter’s 16^th Birthday on the 7^th. I was told that they would try to set up something. I suggested that maybe I could take them to the mall or something. I went to the apartment & they had some other people living in it while we were gone. I told them that I was going to move our stuff out. I spoke with a reporter (Gema Maria Duarte) from the Pocono Record while I was packing up the apartment. Mary Alice called me while she was at the jail with Djinn. She wanted me to give her permission to have him evaluated by a psychiatrist. I told her that I would hope she would understand my reservations concerning this because of the outcome the last time I had given her permission to have someone talk to my children. She got angry with me & told me that someone had to talk to him since I could not be there every day. I told her that I would be there every day if I was allowed to see him every day. She said could I come see him right now. I asked if she was serious & she said that I could visit him if I came there right away. I jumped in my van & started to drive over there. About half way there, she called me & said that the warden would not allow it. Disappointed, I returned to the apartment to finish packing up. A while later, I decided that I should go to the jail to see if they would let me see Djinn at all. The lady at the front desk was very short with me & told me that I was not allowed to see him. She did not explain or seem to want to answer my questions. Later, Mary Alice told me that they had not let me visit Djinn because they thought I was under the influence of something! I asked her, “of what, Trauma?” I wondered why she did not tell them that I had already passed an instant pee test at their office the day before? I returned to the Apartment & finished packing everything I could in the van. I spoke with the Salvation Army director to inform her that I could not fit all of our things in my van & I would return for them. She assured me that she would call me if they were going to do anything with our stuff. I never got any of the stuff back. I could not get anyone on the phone & finally had a friend go there to find that they had given away or thrown away everything I had to leave there.

Gema Duarte wrote a story which at least stated some of the actual facts of our case in the Pocono Record on January 10^th. It was printed on the front page with a picture of me crying that was horrible. I gave my girls Gema’s phone number because they were extremely upset by all of the negative publicity & wanted a chance to defend themselves against these lies. They called her & she quoted each of them once in the article. As a result, they had their phone privileges taken away for two weeks!

I had to go back to Maryland to pick up my sisters & the boys from the airport. When all of this started, shortly after the fire, we had a family discussion about where we wanted to go, etc. We came to the conclusion that Maryland was probably our best bet because I could go back to work for my old boss & we could get away from here. There were just too many bad memories here & none of us thought we could live here with all of this hanging over our heads all of the time. A lady who was buying land to build a house on, near Jasmyne’s house in MD, offered to give us the 3-bedroom trailer on the land then. I thought this must be a sign from God & was going to attempt to make a new home in MD. I also started working part-time for my prior employer in Rockville, MD. A friend gave me a laptop computer, which was a much needed thing! I had been trying to get a system set up so I could work while traveling back & forth.

I wanted to see Djinn very badly & the jail set up a visit with him. I was still in Maryland & woke up early to make the visit at 1:30 pm. I only had driven about 15 minutes when I ran into the back of the car in front of me because the brakes did not work! I had to have the van towed to the shop & called the jail to try to reschedule. They rescheduled for the next day, but I had to reschedule again because the van was still in the shop. When I was rescheduling that time, they were not nice to me at all. They told me that they were not going to make special arrangements for me now & I could only visit him on Thursday nights at 9:00 pm for ½ hour each week. I have not missed one visit since the first one (January 19^th) & have talked to him almost every day on the phone. I have had to keep money on his books so he can make these calls.

Children & Youth only gave me about 1½ hour visit with my girls at the mall for Kat’s 16^th Birthday. They made a worker go with us & not leave our sight the entire time. I still have not gotten a special visit for Kyla’s 14^th Birthday (February 7^th) or a visit with the girls at all for almost two weeks now!

Amber & I went to Djinn’s preliminary hearing together & I am so glad I was not alone. We were hounded by the press & asked stupid questions like, “Why do you think he should be tried as a juvenile?” among others. Djinn’s court appointed lawyer has not kept in contact with me, even though I have called him almost daily since the hearing (January 23^rd). The trailer we were supposed to be given in MD fell through & I have been forced to re-think my plans.

I have been traveling between southern Maryland & PA while working off my laptop, dealing with Children & Youth & trying to rebuild a life at the same time. At the present time, I am attempting to find a new lawyer for my son, get moved into a house or apartment in PA somewhere, get more solid work in PA, get my girls placed back at home & try to get some sort of normal life back. My children are my heart & soul. I will not quit until they are home with me again. My son swears that he did not start the fire at all & that the Fire Marshall & cop who questioned him had him so upset that he just, “said anything they wanted so they would leave him alone!”

There are, of course, many more details to our story, but I have made an honest attempt in putting it down in words. I hope that you can see now that our family has been through a hellish run of horrible luck, & that we are not bad people. We just want to be left alone to live our lives in peace as the loving, close family we have always been!